The enemy of our souls speaks no truth. There is no truth found in him. I know this, and yet the darkness seems at times to tell the truth, and I allow myself to listen.
I have been struggling, of late, with this overpowering, heavy spirit. I seem to have hurt a couple of people with my words. Totally unintended, but nonetheless, hurtful. You know how it goes, when one thing goes wrong the devil piles it on until you feel that nothing is going right. And you allow yourself to sink into a space of darkness that seems preferable to the light. And here I am sitting in a pool of self-pity.
Of course, I'm out here in the country where I house-sit. It is very quiet. Most of the time this is exactly what I want, but when things are dark I find myself feeling very much all alone, listening to the reminders of all my failings. Trying to remind myself of what I am so quick to remind others: You can't go by how you feel.
You must go on what you know about who you know.
Whenever the voice of condemnation speaks, I know it is not the voice of God but the enemy trying to bring me down. And yet I linger in the dark, as a form of self-punishment, I guess. unfortunately, Self-pity then invites his brothers to the party and Doubt shows up, along with Blame and Impatience, as well as many more negative brothers as I allow.
Okay, I see what's going on. Time to turn on the light. Thank you Jesus for waiting here with me.
10/28/2016
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